Gore Invented, Obama Improved

By ConcernedConservative on August 28, 2009
Topics:
Crazy Laws

It is now common knowledge that Al Gore, supreme environmentalist of the universe, was indeed the inventor of the internet. Ironically, making the internet run takes a lot of power, which negatively affects the environment. I wonder how Mr. Gore would feel to know that he contributed so much to “global warming.” But I digress, the important issue facing us today isn’t who invented the internet, it’s who is looking out for us to make it better. Thanks to Obama and his liberal creampuffs in the Senate, the Chosen One may have a lot of power over the internet.


The new legislation allows the president to “declare a cybersecurity emergency” relating to “non-governmental” computer networks and make a plan to respond to the danger. If that doesn’t make sense, think of this example. On 9/11, George Bush grounded all flights across the entire country. No planes were allowed in the air. This was because of the obvious danger planes posed to this country on that day.

Well now, let’s say some big time hacker decides to write a virus that goes through the internet into big databases looking for Social Security numbers, health records, financial records, etc. If the internet protection industry can’t stop it, well, Mr. Obama can then pull the plug on the internet. No, literally, it’s in the Oval Office, the plug for the internet. All he has to do is unplug it and “poof!” No more internet. Very comforting thought.

Here’s my question. Since the term “cybersecurity emergency” is undefined in the bill, who defines it? Is it a cyberemergency when Obama’s healthcare plan is getting bashed? Is it a cybersecurity emergency when conservative commentators disagree with the White House? Just think of the glorious possibilities for the liberal buffalo terds. They can shut up anyone at anytime on the internet. I don’t see any obvious way that can possibly breach our freedom of speech. Better hope this one doesn’t pass, or the vague language of the bill gives Obama more power than any charismatic communist should have.

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